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Match Nº 12 · Kōenji · July 11, 2026

Jazz Kissa Coltrane vs. Donut Prefecture

Kōenji's two finest stalls, separated by a railway crossing and an unbridgeable philosophical divide.

Exhibit A — Jazz Kissa Coltrane.
Exhibit A — Jazz Kissa Coltrane.
Exhibit B — Donut Prefecture.
Exhibit B — Donut Prefecture.
Contender A

Jazz Kissa Coltrane

Est. 1978 · Apparatus: none · Paper: 1-ply, adequate · Soap: liquid, unscented · Sound: Kind of Blue, always

The restroom at Jazz Kissa Coltrane has not been renovated since the Carter administration, and it has not needed to be. There is no washlet. The soap is unscented. Through the door, Miles Davis is playing, and he has been playing since 1978.

Contender B

Donut Prefecture

Est. 2022 · Apparatus: TOTO Washlet C2 · Paper: 2-ply, printed with small donuts · Soap: foaming, vanilla · Sound: silence, blissful

Donut Prefecture's restroom is a small white room of astonishing silence. The Washlet is mid-range but correctly calibrated. The paper is printed with small donuts, a decision this publication respects but does not understand.

Scorecard
Jazz
Donut
Cleanliness
8
9
Apparatus
5
8
Silence
10
10
Scent
9
7
Paper
9
7
41
Jazz Kissa Coltrane
41
Donut Prefecture
The verdict

The arithmetic is final. Coltrane's perfect Silence score and venerable Scent match Donut Prefecture's superior Apparatus and Cleanliness to the point. The publication records this tie with neither satisfaction nor regret.

Tie — 41 all