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Match Nº 2 · Nakameguro · February 10, 2026

Blue Steam Coffee vs. Jazz Kissa Coltrane

Nakameguro, February. A saxophone and a bidet walked into the same bracket. Only one had a heated seat.

Exhibit A — Blue Steam Coffee.
Exhibit A — Blue Steam Coffee.
Exhibit B — Jazz Kissa Coltrane.
Exhibit B — Jazz Kissa Coltrane.
Contender A

Blue Steam Coffee

Est. 2023 · Apparatus: Aquarius NX-2 · Paper: 2-ply, embossed · Soap: foaming, yuzu · Sound: the playlist

Blue Steam's debut in this publication was marked by the lid's unprompted ascent and a soap that smelled of something specific. The Aquarius NX-2 was, at that point, unfamiliar to the reviewing panel. It would not remain so.

Contender B

Jazz Kissa Coltrane

Est. 1978 · Apparatus: none · Paper: 1-ply, adequate · Soap: liquid, unscented · Sound: Coltrane, inevitably

Jazz Kissa Coltrane brought its usual nothing — no washlet, no heated seat, no scented soap — and its usual everything: a room that has been cleaned with the same discipline for forty-eight years, and a saxophone audible through the wall.

Scorecard
Blue
Jazz
Cleanliness
9
9
Apparatus
10
5
Silence
7
9
Scent
10
9
Paper
9
9
45
Blue Steam Coffee
41
Jazz Kissa Coltrane
The verdict

Blue Steam wins by four points, and four of those points are the Aquarius NX-2. Jazz Kissa Coltrane matched or exceeded in every other category. The panel's conscience is noted in the margin.

Winner — Blue Steam Coffee